Apr 15-16 12:33AM

i’ve been trying to study the entire day, i’m so tired and and i want to do anything else but i don’t have time and there’s no point doing anything else and i have to finish a lot of things, but i’m shaking and idk what to do, i’m wrtiting this while thinking of what i’m going to do, prolly gon regret writing it publicly but hey isn’t that all you want in the moment? attention? i’ve no idea but i just wanna end it

i want to do smth to let all the anger out, i still remember it like it happend yestrday and i can’t let it out of my mind even tho it won’t work to get it back, i’m so angry and sestive to light, touching and sound for some reason

i want to get hurt but nothing is working nothing feels like anything
i want to revenge from some but again what’s the point, but at the same time smth tellin me it’s not about why it’s about that you can’t make it and you have no way to revenge anyway that’s why ur making this

another thought is what if you did manage to make it, and you ruind things more, but honstly so what? i was also thinking about making as big as posisble so i can reach some time in jail, maybe, and put 52 line under “maybe” maybeee i can finally heal if i was there, with nothing and more silince and bordem untill i feel smth

does really revenge gon make me feel sadisfied, isn’t that also just another feeling? you can get it by many ways and lie on yourself to feel good for a moment of time?

i’ve no other better choice, and here’s some avidance like an ididot since no one is fucking reading this until post-doing anything, in the next semester to a year, i’m going to do anything i could to take all of its system and data down and then walking down to each one of them to make them say sorry, but you know what i think when i say such a childish thing like this? that i can’t even make it and i’m not good for shit to do such a thing and if i could do such a thing i wouldn’t be here in the first place so my other best opition is to just make it so obv until i get caught and thrown somewhere in jail or exposed in a way, cuz after all kms is not an opition nor doing anything else usefull i want to killed so bad, i wish just anything happen, i’m sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo tired

now since everyone i know is so fucking stupid and no one gives a FUCK to even come here and find this to read it in the first place i just wanna say that